Cakeman, I won't be soothed

Cakeman Raven, you came so highly recommended.

Saveur had an article that made meg crave his Red Velvet Cake, so Saturday being her birthday and all, I had to oblige.

After reading that article, I had about two weeks to lust after this red velvet cake and build it up into the best cake in the world. Living in New York, the most hyperbolic place I've ever seen, it's easy to get into the habit of making absurd, unprovable claims (e.g. the shake shack has the best burgers ever; or, my favorite, dinky sidewalk venders that claim they have the best coffee in the world). So, needless to say, I had a lot of time to fantasize about what the best cake ever would taste like. Before I go on, in my defense, the Saveur article did insinuate that Cakeman's red velvet rivaled the best New York cheesecake. Yes, it went there. Bold claim.

I will forego the ensuing fiasco and skip to the cake. Outside was pure cream-cheesy whiteness, except the sides, which were encrusted with crushed pecans. The flesh of the cake, if you will, was deep cherry red with three layers of cake (five total layers if you count the two thin layers of cream cheese frosting).

And now the first bite. Dry. I am a moist cake man, so this was a big letdown. Everything else was wonderful, but it was hard to get over the dryness. The taste was subtle and pleasant; some people found the frosting a little on the sweet side, but I thought it rocked. The pecans on the outside were the best part. My favorite bite was the last bit of it: the upper left hand corner. The fattest part of the cake, with the top icing and the side icing with the pecans. The pecans gave a great dimension to the flavor profile.

I'll be very Bruni for a moment and give Cakeman solid two stars. I see potential for greatness, but it just isn't fully realized. Sorry about the lack of pictures. I might get a better one with the bit i have left, but the pictures I have are gruesome; wouldn't do the cake justice at all. I'll go back and give them another shot.

For any non-Cake listeners, the title for this post came from the song Daria: "I won't be soothed over, like smoothed over, like milk. silk, a bed spread or a quilt. Icing on a cake, or a serene translucent lake." Not entirely true, but it looks good as a title. I could completely be soothed if the damn cake were more moist.

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